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Freud Thought The Irish Were Too Difficult To Figure Out
It is amazing how we hold certain folks in history out in such high-esteem. Did you know that Freud may not have been the super psychologist we believe he was? I…
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The Mind Of The Emotional Blamer

It was not my fault.... or so they would have you think. I'm talking about people who have a real problem with accepting any responsibility for their own role in their own personal situations or actions.How many times have you been in a situation where you knew you were absolutely in the right? And despite even having solid proof to support your position, the emotional blamer refused to accept any responsibility for their role?I feel as if it stems from childhood and these people have been conditioned since that time to belive this behavior is acceptable. They think it's acceptable because it's partly all they know and it also has to do with the fact that they are in a comfort zone and no one has stepped up to challenge them out of it.By challenge them out of it, I mean just that. These people need someone to challenge them to get out of their comfort zone and to explore the true reality of responsible adult behavior.This sounds easy enough but of course the number one obstacle you will encounter with emotional blamers is denial. When a person has any type of emotional issue, it always comes from an association of pain or trauma. The emotion is their escape. It's how they deal with it. For many, it's all they know. And these people think their behavior is normal.A child picks the behavior up from a parent. It's called modeling. They see mom and dad do it... so it must be acceptable and all right for them to do it as well.An emotional blamer is always going to find some reason to push the blame on to the next guy and to come up with a reason or multiple reasons if they need to justify themselves.But perhaps the saddest part of the emotional blamer behavior is that some actually know deep down they are dead wrong. And yet they remain an emotional blamer anyway.It's like they weigh the two behaviors in their mind and pick the least painful one and stick with it. Which in this case is actually the most painful to them in the long run.An emotional blamer will encounter a life full of disappointments and continual frustrations. They will have a limited number of friends with one exception.People who engage in this type of dysfunctional behavior always tend to seek out and befriend others who are just like them to act as their support mechanism or enablers.This of course is the worst thing that could happen since the emotional blamer does not have anyone in their life to challenge them out of the behavior and to grow as a person.I liken this to a person who keeps walking sideways across the road going from side to side instead of walking forward and actually making progress on their journey.For the emotional blamer, they do not want to go forward. They fear the unknown and are more comfortable with people and surroundings they already know.The question becomes how do emotional blamers ever get ahead in life and go on to become great creators of success? Sadly the answer is pretty obvious isn't it? They don't. They would rather remain in their comfort zone and in the world they created, even if it is not a world that includes rational behavior.The next time you encounter an emotional blamer, ask them to allow you the benefit of asking them two simple questions...What Role Do You Have In The Problem?Can You Define The Responsibility You Personally Have?Emotional blamers will always quickly attempt to do one of two things. They will either dismiss your questions as stupid questions because they know deep down to answer them truthfully would mean they must admit they do have responsibility. Or they will actually try to wear you down with lengthy explanations and logic that will only ever make sense to them.Remember, the emotional blamer does not want to freely admit they are wrong or they bear any fault or responsibility for anything. Even if they know deep down they do. They associate a lot of pain and fear with doing it. However there is one thing you can try.Most of the time emotional blamers have their guard way up. Their protective shields are always in place and trying to get through and get those shields to drop even just a little bit, can only be accomplished in one way. You have to turn the tables on the emotional blamer and present your position such a way as to enable them to have an escape. You need to make them feel as if it is ok. They need to know their pride will still be intact afterwards and you will not laugh at them, or say anything to cause them emotional pain or discomfort.Emotional blamers do not want anyone to make them feel as if they are not as intelligent. They see any blame or attempt to place blame or responsibility on their shoulders as you calling them dumb.So always remember to watch how you present yourself and what you say to someone you suspect as being an emotional blamer. With a little practice you might even be able to help some folks out by challenging them out of this dead end behavior.

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